he's a party animal
7-27-04: The following "exchange" actually finally took place at the DNC between hannity and James Hoffa as hannity continually interrupts, shouts, and drowns out Hoffa's responses
hannity: Blah....blah.....blah......blah.......blah......!
Hoffa (tauntingly in response): Blah....blah.....blah......blah.......blah......!
hannity's toady sidekick, mark levin chimes in asking whether Hoffa remembers the help their legal foundation gave him once upon a time
Hoffa's negative response elicits levin's retort to Hoffa, "Don't ever ask us for help again"---- Thereby breaking Hoffa's heart forever and ever, causing Hoffa to lose lots of sleep over his prospective loss of help from levin's legal foundation.
hannity to toady sidekick, mark levin, "just spoke with one of Hoffa's guys who said Hoffa told him never to 'book him' with hannity cause he just got beat up by hannity (with hannity's words - right. Life in hannity's dreamworld.)
'Shrink-time' for the hannity team.
Hannity: What de ya tink????? a da Iraq war (don't mention wmd) ?
George Will: Well, the Iraq war is like a baseball game and you have a lot of balls (bombs) that you throw and the Iraqi People are thankful and glad to receive them because they can turn around and sell them on e-bay.
Robert Kennedy: Eh. What's Up Doc? I mean Shallow Sean.
Hannity: Wassup?
Robert Kennedy: They're facist pigs. Save The Environment. Move Left. Bring Back Came-a-lot.
hannity: You pinko commie
kennedy: you're trembling sean
hannity: I'm as cool as a cucumber
kennedy: Shallow Sean........If you go chasing rabbits..........
..............Rememberrrrrr, What the doormouse said.....
FEED YOUR HEAD! FEED YOUR HEAD! FEED YOUR HEAD! FEED YOUR HEAD!
Hannity: Ground control to major tom (franks). Ground control to major tom (franks).
tommy franks: i glad i got out before i had to fight tough country like China who hate us almost as much as rest of world except jewsrael. we stick to women, children, and 3 worlds nations.
Hannity: Ground control to major tom (franks). Take your protein pills and put your helmut on.
tommy franks: colin powell is a great man and my idle because he's such an artful, conflicted global liar/criminal and always appears on the other side when he's on the other side, and because we're equally smart/dumb.
Hannity: This is ground control to major tom (franks). You've really made the grade.
tommy franks: yea. i gonna shoot me some sparrows with my m-16 and maybe hop a transport to abu graib for some sado masochistic sexual pleasure and pain.
Hannity: You're a great american.
tommy franks: i dunno. i try. i guess.
Fast Forward:
tommy franks: I said I shall return...........
hannity: ah. oh yea.
tommy franks: for my endorsement (of presidential candidate)
but before that I want promote, discuss "What's On First"
hannity: What's On First?
tommy franks: tommy franks
hannity: What's On First?
tommy franks: tommy franks
hannity: What's On First?
tommy franks: tommy franks you fool. I'm selling my own line of hot dogs, 'tommy franks'.
ollie's follies
ollie: For all those criminal americans out there, let me tell you how I got started, as a child. (This is sadly true). I began as a kid by jumping off the roof of my garage. I did that over and over and over again until I broke my leg.
hannity: Cool!
ollie: You know what I learned from that? I learned that if you do something stupid, you can get hurt or even hurt others. You know what else I learned from that? I learned that in criminal america nobody remembers or cares if you do dumb, stupid, or illegal things.
hannity: Groovy
ollie: I was famous even as a kid when they had that television show with a character who was supposed to be me, Kukla (Kookoo), Fran, and Ollie.
hannity: Neat!
ollie: We got away with murder on Reagen's "red days" when things kind a shut down.
hannity: Cool!
ollie: Learning how to count as a kid, 2 for me and 1 for you, really helped me in the illegal drug business when you had to skim a little for yourself just in case, and go "hide and go seek" the laundered money.
hannity: Cool!
ollie: This former CIA agent can tell you more about our entrepreneurial activities. Click the following: http://www.albertpeia.com/CIAAgentAffidavit1.jpg
hannity: YOU'RE A great american!
ollie: yea, i know, and you're a great american shallow sean.
hannity: Cool!
newt's new band - "The Slimey Slobs"
lott, ashcroft, clinton
newt: Yea, we gotta get buffalo hill bill clinton into the slobs. Also closet mo lott, which will be great for the log cabin republicans, Why do ya think trent protected hillbilly clinton from impeachment. Sometimes I think lott's wife is goin' to turn into a pillar of salt. We don't know what we're doin but we're doin'.
hannity: I hate that rapist criminal, hillbilly clinton.
newt: lighten up shallow sean, we're all in it together. you might join the american government in office and start rapin', killin', and plunderin' yourself. even bonesman kerri is one of us, a 'clockwork orange' so to speak, see 
hannity: I guess your right
newt: of course i'm right, of center that is, yuck, yuck. Support Communist China! Long Live Communist Red China!
hannity:YOU'RE A great american!
newt: YOU'RE A great american!
hannity:No, YOU'RE A great american!
newt: No, YOU'RE A great american!
hannity:YOU ARE!
newt: How 'bout we compromise. We both are great americans!
Hannity: We're here With Defense secretary donald rumsfeld.
Rummy: Hey, Shallow Sean. Just call me Rummy.
Hannity: Wassup with the war and the election?
Rummy: Well, Shallow Sean we're "thinkin' anew" and let me show you this picture:
Just One Of The Big Happy Criminal american Crime Family. Yeah, Shallow Sean. That's Me Shaking Hands With "Bro" Sadam who I think is the best chance for successful american style democracy in Iraq.
Rummy: People will be judged on what they say (he really said this). Riiight! WMDs all over the place in Iraq (at least just the ones they knew that criminal america supplied him with to kill iranians, kurds, and his own people - which were destroyed, along with Iraqi children as a consequence of the sanctions and now the war).
hannity:YOU'RE A great american!
rummy: YOU'RE A great american!
hannity:No, YOU'RE A great american!
rummy: No, YOU'RE A great american!
hannity:YOU ARE!
rummy: How 'bout we compromise. We both are great americans!
hannity: I'm here with the reverend jesse jackson
jackson: How ya doin', Shallow Sean.
hannity: Whassup?
jackson: Well Shallow Sean, as you are probably aware, Jim Crow is not dead in america, Jim Crow is back. Apropo to that, you know that the white man took the black man show, 'The Jeffersons' off the air.
hannity: Where are we going with this reverend jesse?
jackson: Well, In the spring we're doin' a new 'All in the Family', with an all black cast, a black 'tude, and flippin' the bird to jim crow white america. Take a look.
hannity: Wait one cotton-pickin' minute. That's bill clinton.
jackson: Yea, the first black president. See that girl with the big red O? I had me a love child with her.
hannity: But you're a reverend.
jackson: Always pointin' the finger at the black man, well how dya like this finger.
hannity: You shouldn't have given me the finger.
jackson: You mean this, jim crow white man.
hannity: gave me the finger again. who ya backin' in the election.
jackson: I have his picture right here:
I carry it with me. Take a look.
"Reverend" Ape Sharpton
hannity: YOU'RE NOT A great american!
jackson: YOU'RE NOT A great american!
hannity:No, YOU'RE NOT A great american!
jackson: No, YOU'RE NOT A great american!
hannity:YOU'RE NOT!
jackson: How 'bout we compromise. We both are not great americans!
hannity: I can live with that.
hannity: I'm here with Bill "the big O" Reilly
O'Reilly: How ya doin', Shallow Sean. Just call me the big O.
hannity: Whassup?
O'Reilly: Well Shallow Sean, as you've probably heard, I'm now confronting an axis of
evil that is try to hurt me and fox and has instituted a lawsuit that's just not worth
what they're asking. A vast left wing conspiracy is at work here.
hannity: How's that, big O.
O'Reilly: Well Shallow Sean, I'm the big O with the babes, O meaning orgasm.
Yup, just call me golden tongue.
hannity: You mean you're a cunning linguist?
O'Reilly: What?
hannity: You know, you're a master of cunnilingus.
O'Reilly: No way, Shallow Sean. What I can do is, with the sexual power of my voice
render a woman weak-kneed and send her into the throws of convulsive orgasm, screaming
in ecstasy and delight in my phone sex sessions with them.
hannity: What's that humming/vibrating sound coming from.......
your private parts?
O'Reilly: Ah, Shallow Sean, the big O's got an in-coming on my hot phone,
with the hot line, for my hot calls, and which I keep in my sexy, red, bikini cut
Bill Blass briefs, close to the "family jewels", conspicuous as a big wod to let
everyone know I'm packin' a big rod. You know what I'm sayin'?
hannity: I do, big O.
O'Reilly: Now let me take this hot call, on my hot line, from one of my hot babes
Turn around, Shallow Sean.
hannity: Sure, big O.
[moans/sex talk/and a "flicking" sound.............Hannity turns around].
Whoa! you got an erection and you're...........
O'Reilly: Yeah, I practice my love-making a lot when I'm by myself, or pleasurizing
my phone babes into ecstasy with my golden-tongue.
hannity: Hey, can I give you a hand, big O?
O'Reilly: Don't mind if you do, Shallow Sean. Oooooh, that feels great.
hannity: Anything for a fellow conservative and great american.
O'Reilly: YOU'RE A great american Shallow Sean, but I gotta tell you that some
of the members of our secret society dedicated to perverse phone sex and masturbation
and one isn't a conservative, and you probably don't like him cause he's a rapist, criminal, etc.,
and we call him buffalo bill "the hillbilly" clinton.
hannity: That's why secret societies are secret. As they say in the military:
O'Reilly: Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
hannity: Don't Ask, Don't Tell.
O'Reilly: I'm thinking of doing a new show, 'the no skin zone', where virtual isn't virtue and facts are not a Factor
hannity: big O, you're not just a pretty face, but smart too. You're so hip and cool
with the babes
O'Reilly: Well Shallow Sean, it's like the old saying goes, some of us got it and
some of us don't
hannity: you're a great american. Let's give each other a hug.
hannity: Big O, Whassup?
O'Reilly: How ya doin', Shallow Sean. Just call me the big O or golden tongue.
I'm still confronting an axis of
evil that is trying to hurt me and fox and has amended their complaint
A vast left wing conspiracy is at work here
hannity: How's that, golden tongue?
O'Reilly: Well, all the babes at the studio and offices keep givin' me
the sign, the signal. Ya know, like putting their tongues through their mouths and
leaving them there whenever they see me, the big O.
They want me
hannity: Wow! You da man, big O
O'Reilly: Yea, all the babes all want a piece of this, with all my testosteronic, animal
magnetism and sexual charisma, but it's become a difficult situation here and
I think I'm goin' Hollywood
hannity: How cool is that, golden tongue. You da man, big O
O'Reilly: Let me run this by you, this film project I'm gonna do.
This theme song outlines the plot of the film, here goes:
Golden Tongue (to the tune of 'Goldfinger')
Golden Tongue, he's the man, the man with the golden tongue
he's so well hung
his sexy voice fills the woman's ear
she knows he's not near
but still feels fear, he's so weird
exciting sex talk she will know
as he brings her convulsively to the big "O"
just a phone call away
she just can't say no to, or hang up on
Mr. Golden Tongue,
little girl, remember his tongue of gold,
his sex talk is bold
his heart is cold
remember what he's got
his tongue is hot
his sex talk is bold
but his heart is cold
hannity: Wow!
O'Reilly: So shallow sean, I'll play golden tongue, with a fat, communist chinese
henchman/side kick/sumo wrestler named 'odd blob'. When I finish having phone sex with the babes,
they wind up dead with their ears, tongue, and genitals painted with toxic pure gold paint
hannity: Cool! Can I play.....Sean..........................Connery
O'Reilly: We're on the same page. That's just what I was thinkin'. You'll
be the 'secret agent orange man'
hannity: Wow! Cool.
O'Reilly: YOU'RE A great american Shallow Sean and that's why I'm
givin' you this career break even though you're not a phone sex object.
hannity: Wow! Gee Thanks Big O/Golden Tongue
YOU'RE A great american!
O'Reilly: I know I am but what are you
hannity: A great american
O'Reilly: I know you are but what am I
hannity: A great american
O'Reilly: I know I am but what are you
hannity: A great american
O'Reilly: I know you are but what am I
hannity: A great american
O'Reilly: I know I am but what are you
hannity: a great american. Whewwwww. Let's give each other a hug.
Ode To Shallow Sean
Hannity's Insanity
There Once Was A Host Named Shallow Sean Hannity
Who Never Understood The Reality of His Innanity
Till One Day he Snapped
And His Backers All Crapped
As He Sunk To the Depths of Insanity.
Poor, Poor Shallow Sean Hannity
Like A Peacock He Strutted With Vanity
Till He and All Recognized His Inanity
He Finally Understood What He Stood For Was Not Good
Which Accelerated His Descent Into Insanity.
Alas Poor shallow sean, We knew him. A fellow of Infinite Jest, of Most Excellent Fancy
Trying To Give A Little Back For The Sickness He Has Caused Through His Cloyingly Nauseating, Mindless, Flagwaving, Chauvinistic Propaganda, Shallow Sean Now Sells Vomitoriums Throughout The Continental Criminal united states.
Shallow Sean's 'Ape On The Street' Segment
hannity: who are dah presidential and vice-presidential candidates in de election?
black ape: before i answer can i do this rap tune?
hannity: groovy.
black ape:
i know a ho
she's got ta go
i gonna slap her back to co co mo.
i see da man
he's gonna put me in da can
i gonna blow him away before he can
hannity: cool. and da candidates?
black ape: I carry his picture with me. Take a look.
"Reverend" Ape Sharpton
hannity: who are dah presidential and vice-presidential candidates in de election?
brown ape: before i answer can i do this jay and the amereekans tune?
hannity: groovy.
brown ape:
only in amereeka
can a bastard, murdering, illegal drug importer like clinton without a legally earned cent
grow up to be president
i see da man
he's gonna put me in da can
i gonna blow him away before he can
hannity: cool. and da candidates?
brownape: .