THE PENTAGON'S BELOVED DUMMY

By: Ted Lang

It’s beginning to look a lot like our Secretary of Offense and Department of Warmongering, Sir Ronald Dumbsfeld, or "Dummy," as his colleagues and some in the media affectionately call him, has once again taken the time to graciously bring US up to speed on the war effort. He has also demonstrated more compassionate conservatism by visiting "the front" [Kuwait?] and being with the troops to wish them "Happy Holidays!" While portraying himself as one of the troops, they began asking him some sticky questions, requiring some political soft shoe maneuvers demonstrating his skill in responding crisply with assertiveness and delivering well thought-out responses.

It was only a few days ago, on the anniversary of Pearl Harbor, that other great federal fraud where thousands of our own were sacrificed in order to inspire mass hatred in the minds of the general public, that "Dummy" observed that it may take yet another four years to pull our troops out of Iraq. Hmmmm. How many more years is the Bush regime supposed to last?

Of course, "Dummy" has always conveyed radically bold predictions, proving not only his intuitiveness and total command of military strategy and planning, but his leadership skills and total dedication to our military itself. He told reporters in Kuwait that he "hopes" the troops can be pulled out before Bush’s second term ended, but pointed out that they will remain in Iraq until Bush decides they are no longer needed. I guess that means Bush will also remain in power for precisely the same reason: for as long as he feels himself needed. History kinda repeats itself you see, especially for the ignorant that allow themselves the bliss of being kept that way.

It may be recalled that Secretary Dumbsfeld believed Iraq would be a "cakewalk" as predicted by the Pent-a-gun hawks and Deputy Secretary of War, Paul Wolf-of-wits. The mental mural painted by the hawks and Wolf of the Iraqis welcoming US with open arms and throwing flower petals in the paths of our patriotic expeditionary forces, never materialized. And who can forget that memorable bounce and smirk by "Dummy’s" commander-and-chief swaggering along on the deck of the U.S.S. Lincoln, proclaiming that the conflict was over and won? What a team!

According to a December 9th article in the Washington Post, by Staff Writer Thomas E. Ricks, Offense Secretary Dumbsfeld, when speaking to troops deploying for Iraq, "… got an earful of complaints about poor combat equipment, personnel policies that keep soldiers in the Army beyond their terms of enlistment, and other issues that reflect the strains the war in the Middle East is placing on the U.S. military."

The article goes on to describe a "town-hall-style meeting," during which one Specialist, Thomas Wilson, described how he and his comrades-in-arms were required to rummage through junkyards to improvise armor plate shielding for their transport vehicles for protection from IED and small arms attacks. The Specialist queried Dumbsfeld as to why such armor and special vehicles were not being supplied by our military.

It may be recalled that back in October a supply unit refused orders [mutinied] rather than be exposed to precisely the dangerous and unprotected conditions Specialist Wilson described. And of course, since this so-called military crime was executed at the "grunt" level, you may be assured that the perfumed princes of the military leadership and the empty suits represented by our bought-and-paid-for politicians, will court martial them.

"Dummy’s" response: "As you know, you go to war with the Army you have. They are not the Army you might want or wish to have at a later time." Excellent point, but totally irrelevant to the question asked! That response would be acceptable only in the case of a surprise attack against US necessitating precisely such a hastily assembled and unplanned ragtag logistical nightmare; but then what about that "cakewalk," and "flower petals" and the Bush declaration of victory? The article continues to quote Dumbsfeld as saying: "If you think about it, you can have all the armor in the world on a tank and a tank can be blown up." But again, that wasn’t the issue – the issue was a lack of armor that in fact could provide protection for Humvees and transports from IEDs and small arms fire.

Also on the 9th and carried on the Drudge Report, Edward Lee Pitts, a Chattanooga Times Free Press reporter assigned to the 278th Regimental Combat Team, offered that he had prepped Wilson to pop the question to "Dummy," offering that "…the place erupted in cheers so loud that Rumsfeld had to ask the guy to repeat his question." Obviously, "Dummy," taken aback by the outburst, needed time to evaluate both the question as well as the spontaneous reaction from his audience. Pitts states that "Dummy" offered something along the lines of, "It’s not a lack of desire or money but a logistics/physics problem." BRILLIANT!!! And logistics is not a function of military deployment? BRILLIANT!!!

And now for some down home candor from the offensive coach: Pitts offers how "Dummy" reflected that he had recently seen "about" eight [what an estimate!] of the special up-armored Humvees guarding Washington, DC, and he promised that they would no longer be used in Washington but would be sent to the troops. Hey, that might work! BRILLIANT!!! How many IED and small arms attacks have been directed against the bought-and-paid-for empty suits in the District of Corruption?

According to an article in the Boston Globe on its website entitled "US stance of armor disputed – Company says vehicle orders waiting for OK," Bryan Bender in his December 10th report states: "Despite Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld's assertion that the military is outfitting Humvees with armor as quickly as possible, the company providing the vehicles said it has been waiting since September for approval from the Pentagon to increase monthly production by as many as 100 of the all-terrain vehicles, intended to protect against roadside bombs in Iraq."

Bender quotes the manufacturer: "‘We're prepared to build 50 to 100 vehicles more per month,’ Robert Mecredy, head of Armor Holdings’ aerospace and defense unit, said in a statement. The company is producing about 450 armored Humvees per month, up from 50 in late 2003, when a sudden surge of attacks in Iraq exposed a lack of protective armor. The company says that by February it could be producing as many as 550 fully armored Humvees per month – with armor plates on the sides, front, rear, top, and bottom – if given the go-ahead. The company estimated it would cost the military about $150 million a year to pay for the additional 100 vehicles per month. The company said it also told the Army it could add new production lines and turn out even more vehicles."

Kinda sounds like the company can do a lot better than merely eight Humvees "Dummy" has promised our military. Bender writes, "More than half of the roughly 1,200 US soldiers who have died in Iraq have been killed by roadside bombs or in ambushes from rocket-propelled grenades. A lack of armor on thousands of older vehicles has been blamed for many of the deaths."

The article quotes der Schmirkmeister as explaining, "‘If I were a soldier overseas wanting to defend my country, I’d want to ask the secretary of defense the same question, and that is, are we getting the best we can get us?’ Bush told reporters in the Oval Office." Huh?! Is US getting the best we can get we, or is dem gettin’ the best we got dem? Who’s we? BRILLIANT!!! Und of course der Fuehrer advised that the Pent-a-gun was on top of things.

Other issues at the town-hall meeting, such as lack of personal equipment, ammunition, "stop-loss" orders and even delays in soldiers’ paychecks causing hardships for military families back home, were brought up as well. "Dummy’s" response to the pay issue: "That’s just not right." How about a little Alexander Haig here "Dummy" – who’s in charge? And of course Bush supports the right of the troops to question the Secretary – but the grunts who did the right thing by refusing suicidal orders using ‘dead-lined’ or un-armored vehicles will face courts martial anyway, right Mr. Secretary? I wonder how long it will take Nazis-r-US to get that Specialist "disappeared!"




"Published originally at EtherZone.com : republication allowed with this notice and hyperlink intact."

Mail this article to a friend(s) in two clicks!


Ted Lang is a freelance writer and political analyst. He is a regular columnist for Ether Zone.

Ted Lang can be reached at: tlang1@optonline.net

Published in the December 13, 2004 issue of  Ether Zone.
Copyright 1997 - 2004 Ether Zone.

We invite your comments on this article in our forum!